moving away from the pulsebeat

I'm so glad that Spring Break begins TOMORROW, although, in my typical foolish fashion, I still have a paper to write. Why so eager for this break? In addition to the fact that I'll get to indulge my lazy side, this will be the long-awaited distancing I needed from the devil herself--my suitemate.

Think of the most annoying person possible. This person is 242,495 times WORSE. She's the most boorish unclassy thing to walk this planet. You'd never know she was a virgin from how wide (and permanently) her legs are spread.

Why did I live with her in the first place? I like to think of myself of a hero and would like to say my only reason was to save her roommate, who happens to be the sweetest girl on earth. But really, I suppose it's because she used to seem pretty. These days, however, the prettiness has dwindled down to beady eyes and a thin upper lip; in other words, I'm finding it mightily difficult to see anything attractive about her. She stands like a chimp: ass out, boobs up, eyes glassy, mouth open. She has a ghetto air about her, but it's less urban and more destitute. She's got all the volume of a Texan drunk, all the swagger of a D-list white rapper, the frugality of a Vietnamese immigrant grandmother, and a vulgarity even Hugh Heffner would shun.

Jordan/Katie Price has a mile of style and class on her; that's how AWFUL she is. Whenever she opens her mouth, my ears bleed from the sheer shrillness of her booming voice. She loves to sing and never relents to bless us with her sweet prickly falsetto. She dresses like a two-cent road slut meets 16 year old pregnant teenager--from Hiawassee Mobile Homes.

Did I also mention she is an awful person? She's a liar, a deceiver, a homewrecker, and just totally stupid. And proud. Basically, a complete and total Philistine. I'm glad 99% of the world doesn't take her seriously.

With love,
Liz

Also, I'm missing my necklace. Uh-oh.
ETA: I found my necklace! Hurrah!